I WON'T REPEAT MY PARENT'S MISTAKES ?

Your parents' made mistakes with their marriage so you will make sure that it won't happen to you by being careful ! Hmmm … will this work ? Sadly the odds are stacked against you.

Most people who have children do carefully select their partners to have children with, just ask them. This process sadly does not work with 33 % of children not making it though childhood in intact families. The odds are better for parents who get married and much worse for children who were not raised in intact families. According to Professor Nicholas Wolfinger the risk of divorce is 50 percent higher when one spouse comes from a divorced home, and 200 percent higher risk when both of them do.

If being careful at selecting future parents worked then the odds would logically not be much worse for children who were not raised by both biological parents !

Living in most communities in western society today:

EDUCATION BEFOREHAND

No system to educate intending parents beforehand about:

-personality disorders and mental health;

-choosing/excluding proposed parents;

-the harm to children of sole parenting;

-reaching prior agreement on future parenting issues;

-engaging family members in the education process;

-making a public declaration of 'parents for life'

SEPARATION PROCESS

Accept the role of Family Courts to cut off one parent

Believe that courts are trained to pick the best parent

Accept the need for an adversarial system

No system in place to facilitate shared parenting

How absolutely crazy is it that today's parents might strongly advise against their children marrying someone who is: not house proud, been to college, athletic and many other things on the spousal shopping list yet few people intending to get married have any appreciation of the massive risk to their future children of marrying someone with a personality disorder or whose parents divorced ! This ignorance could result in a doubling of the risk of premature death for their future born child !

Failing to plan is planning to fail !

Any person today intending to become a parent needs to complete the Parents For Life Program. That is totally the opposite of today's society. Ideally they need to become part of a community that accepts the Parents for Life ideology like some religious communities and group living communities.