FAQ's

I would like something that is legally binding otherwise your proposal is a complete waste of time !

Sounds entirely reasonable till you look at the facts:

-Anybody with any experience in the family Court knows that Court Orders about children do not mean much. They are easily changed by a court and are simply something to argue over while your lawyer bills you at hundreds of dollars an hour.

-What happens in reality is that one parent files an application in the family court wanting a change in the time they spend with the child. Usually both parents win over friends and family with a variety of arguments which include:

-they never willingly agreed to the other parent spending so much time with the child;

-the other parent is a monster;

-the current arrangement is not working.

This enables them to get much support from family and friends.

If there is a public declaration that both parents and a couple of family members have studied the data thought carefully about it and agreed shared parenting is the way to go then this puts a major kywash on on this. A detailed plan carefully thought out to avoid disagreements is particularly important.

This will solve the problem in the majority of cases. No solution is however 100% !

What if my ex partner or future partner is very violent ?

Family Violence is an extremely serious issue and deserves the highest priority. We will develop a detailed family violence policy with input from victims on how they can be best protected. Restraining orders have tragically failed so many children and parents.

If the violence allegations are particularly serious and relate directly to the children the only way to approach the issue is to get Child Protection to investigate the issue while the children are alternately cared for by both sets of relatives.

Sadly the family Court has a long history of parents using false allegations to prevent children having contact with one of their parents to gain a tactical advantage.

The long standing tactical advantage given to a parent who raises false allegations needs to be terminated.

Wouldn't it be better to just get the government to change the law so the default after separation is joint custody ?

Groups of parents have been lobbying government for nearly 4 decades for this to happen and in that time many new laws have been introduced that have made the situation worse ie:

-Child Support system;

-Govt department created to collect Child Support;

-Increases in Government payments for children;

-Restraining Orders;

-Progressively more aggressive restraining orders;

-Growth of the CPS for children;

-Positive support for non biological families from Government, Media and child education.

When and if default joint custody laws eventually come into place (could be decades or generations away) it won't take away all the rest of the culture and laws that drive apart biological families.

The US experience of the States that have introduced default joint custody laws is positive however it is doubtful that it would have reduced the numbers of children who do not live with both biological parents by more than about 5 or 10 %. It still is a half baked solution as socially humans are just not ready to raise their children living apart. What is needed beforehand:

-education system teaching intending parents/family members of the benefits of having both parents raising children.

-written agreement on key issues of child raising.

-workable parenting plan in the logistics of shared parenting if parents decide to move apart;

-public declaration of the above;

-ongoing contact with a support network while parents are separated.

Can this system help existing parents who are separated ?

Not directly, this system is for people who agree to the system and agree with equal shared parenting. The primary parent model is too adversarial for us to become involved in. We are not set up to help parents that are involved in Family Law proceedings or the Child Protection system.

As the website develops information and techniques will be published that will assist parents if they are currently separated. We are hopeful that the ideology of Parents For Life is infectious and will lead to positive change to the existing population of separated parents.

A system that can function without the involvement of government is better than one that needs government to function.